Blog #15 Who’s Greatness Is It Anyway?

“I have someone I would like you to meet. She is a great person, but is not yet engaged with our organization “– says to you your CEO.   In our line of business often we receive leads about people to engage with. It may come from our trustees, board members, from our supervisor, CEO, colleagues in the organization or from another donor. What typically follows next is the “first meeting” followed by our efforts to turn a person who knows little about our organization and is neither a supporter nor a believer to a supporter and believer who sees the great things our organization has to offer.

While we don’t typically think about this first meeting as an opportunity for different  wherewithal , we often try to leave a strong impression which would lead into a long and lasting (more personal) relationship between this new prospect and us and through us with our organization.

As you approach your first meeting with the individual you recently were referred to and contacted, a key question you should be asking yourself is: What is the focal point for this (first time) meeting? Or as I am asking you to look at in this 15^th blog: Who’s Greatness are you focusing on? Think it’s simple or know the answer ?! Keep reading to find out if the answers are indeed simple…

This is your opportunity to continue looking at fundraising through an unconventional pair of binoculars – yours.  I suggest that this frequent situation of meeting a new prospect and starting a journey of future fruitful cultivations will jumpstart the question: “Who’s Greatness Is It”?

Your goal in this meeting is (indeed) to achieve a great supporter and a believer for your organization.  And there is nothing wrong about using the word Great or feeling bad about your work. For most of us this means talking about the great or most appealing achievements of our organization. Our work is about passion and the greatness of what the organizations we work with do. Let’s not forget the Greater Good is about one of the greatest things life has to offer. And when we read about being created in the image of G-d – it is about the ability to do this Greater Good that makes us in G-d’s image.

We enjoy doing “this”; it is almost intuitive and free-flowing. For some it means talking about the things that brought us as individuals to the organization and the work we do. For others it is about (as I started describing above) talking about the great work of the organization. Both are good ways to introduce ourselves in a first time meeting with a prospect or a donor whom we meet for the first time as long as we let ourselves be … ourselves and include the person we meet for the first time in shaping the way the meeting shapes up to be. Could there be a third option where the greatness reveled and the one you are focused on has initially little to do with your organization or your work?! And if so, could it still include your experience and where your knowledge of the organization and its services are exceptionally important? Could there be such an option?

You are focused on trying to engage long term someone new. Plan to bridge a new-comer with the magnitude of an organization, its individuals and services of which greatness you know very very well. In fact if you take a minute and think about this (yes now!) there is such a discrepancy… You know so much about the organization you represent (partner A) And you are about to build a partnership between your organization and this new (wonderful new person – partner B) And yet, more frequent than not you know so little about the person you are about to build such a significant collaboration with.

How are you supposed to construct this donation-bridge without any significant knowledge and moreover how is this bridge supposed to last long term?! Aside to the initial discrepancy, do you already see some direction that I am pointing you to? Oh well – let’s go back and go through the three options I referred to in the opening of this blog.

Option One

Greatness of the Organization is where most people go when they meet with new people. Free talk or a constructed presentation, sharing stories, people who visit from the field, various methods etc.

However it is done, the main purpose here is to leave an impression that the organization we represent is doing a great job, worthwhile engaging with and supporting. While there is little wrong with this approach to the “first time meeting” consider that most of the information (to be honest) can be found on your organization’s website, YouTube and other media and often is relayed better. (hey – don’t take this personally: This is going to be on the person’s HD iPad viewed on his time  and pace …) Another thing you need to keep in mind, and you have to either trust me for doing this numerous times (yes I LOVE talking about how great is Federation, JDC, Riverview Towers etc) or accept this as my opinion… Once you are “into” broadcasting the greatness of your organization most of your capacity (both sides of your brain!) is dedicated to “doing” exactly that. While many of you are multi-talented, “receiving” while “transmitting” is a bit hard (Unless you think that you can be both a passionate “talker” articulating the greatness of your organization while being passionate listener receiving the greatness of your party in this first time meeting.)  This, I found out is especially hard!

Option Two

You could dedicate yourself to a more “small talk” style, giving the person you are meeting for the first time an opportunity to get acquainted with the fascinating and unusual individual that you  are and the amazing journey you had. The big plus in this approach is multi-folds; Existing or donors to be, see in this setting an opportunity to build relationship, they also see uniqueness in this approach because it feels more “friendly” “personal” and typically receives genuine appreciation. The down side embedded in this approach, while negligible, has to do with commitment towards the organization you represent. There is a long distance leading between “your story” to a financial or other commitment towards the organization you represent, thus it may become a lengthy process. PS – This one (option two) is likely the one I have used throughout my career often. It builds strong long term relationship with people and there is nothing wrong about this approach. (So you understand that I do not disregard nor mock any of the options…)

Option Three

You could dedicate yourself to learning as much as possible about the person you are meeting or donor you are meeting for the first time. What is great about what she does for the community (not necessarily your organization) and what s/he does that made him so successful in business. How come this person you are meeting is so xxxx wise?! You can dedicate the entire meeting to trying to reveal where is the “stash” of his/her wisdom hiding? In other words: If you needed to give an elevator pitch about this individual (you are just meeting with for the first time) what would you say? Why is she – so unique?

In this suggested option #3 you are going on a scavenger-hunt, finding all the pieces of the puzzle that make the greatness of this new person. AND – while doing this, since you already know so much about your organization, you could slowly, and very very carefully (most likely not during the first meeting) see how to construct (using your own skills) the bridge that should hold between the greatness of the individual you helped connect and the needs and greatness of the organization you have such a strong passion for.

In other words…This first meeting is mostly for you! You are already very strong maybe even brilliant in one area: Your organization, its work and the impact of the services and how these change the world/community/individuals. You understand how your organization is connected to the Greater Good. To my mind, the goal of this first time meeting is not for you to share how your organization does that. This is up to the person you are meeting to find out down the road. Allow her/him “space” to engage. Finding the places that make your organization great are good places to “engage”. For that to happen sometimes in the near future, you first need to level the playing field between two greatnesses where a bridge is supposed to be built. Your role is to help build this bridge. But you need, as the architect and engineer which your organization needs you to be, to see clearly and share the greatness of the NEW partner you are bringing in.

I am about to bring into a halt my effort to share with you the way you tap into the greatness of someone else in this first time meeting. This is about your greatness not mine. You go out and use it to highlight the greatness of others.

Yours,

Michael Steiner

steinerpgh@gmail.com

The GIVE (Part III)

Our third installment in the area of Donor Development on why donors GIVE takes us to a more emotional place this time.  As you will see in this installment, we are dealing with issues often associated with the soul, with emotions, and will require us to take a closer look at elements we typically don’t pay too much attention to.  You may need to put on your psychology hat or a pair of special glasses to look through – you will need them.

Our first GIVE is reminiscent of a major donor I have been working with.  Quiet, low-key, talking less and often last; this is how I would describe him.  In meetings, one needs to wait for the right time for him to speak… and yet – take him out in the field to meetings about his family philanthropy, and he becomes a very different person.  Something in his involvement in Philanthropy gets him to assume a very different Ego and Self Esteem.  Without sinking too deep and going too far into the psychology of ego and self esteem, I do want you to delve (a bit) into the notion that so many of us grow up with “issues” and differences in how our self esteem has evolved.  There is nothing wrong with embracing it — which impacts directly on how we see ourselves – hence, our ego. But here in the world of Healing the World, in the world of Philanthropy, we deal with a more clean slate.  Think about this further and please follow along with me a bit.  You are almost “born again” in Philanthropy, not carrying your pains and suffering… you can start all over again and can feel good about yourself.  And that, my friends, makes GIVING a very attractive business and makes this reason (Ego and Self Esteem) one of the most important reasons why people give.  Do you now see the connection between giving and “feeling good” in a different way?!  Do you now understand what this feeds into…?

I am going to leave you here with your thoughts on this GIVE. There is much more to be said on this, but there are also other reasons why donors GIVE and I want you to move forward with me. 

Moving onward to our next GIVE… which has to do with the one thing that we cannot acquire (or can we?): Our Quest for Immortality.   Reading this, depending on where you are in “life” you may smile and know that this has crossed your mind, one way or another.  For example: “How do I leave my mark?”  YES – this is also seeking immortality… what did you think leaving your “mark” meant?! :- ))  Once we start asking these kind of questions we are in this beautiful (and if I may say – legitimate) search.  And then we understand what motivates people who search for projects that will carry them (and others connected to them…such as their relatives) beyond the life that their physical ability cannot but their philanthropy can.

I am reminded of a donor to the Pittsburgh Federation who is an ongoing contributor to our annual campaign.  A good and wonderful person.  Solid guy.  One day, he showed up unannounced, and asked our CEO if there is a building that needs to be named.  He was looking for a building that he could put his family name on.  Nothing “funny” about this. He woke up one morning and realized  there is this “mortality thing” and for him it meant a building.  We have a few beautiful programs with his family name which do wonders.  And now with the building name, the mortality issue is resolved.

I want to pause for a minute here and make sure you are correctly reading our look into the insight of the psychology of giving.  This is about understanding what motivates people, like you and me, to give.  This is NOT about going to major donors and asking them if they want to kick up their self-esteem or if they are looking for some immortality.  I assume it is clear here that the ability to read through our own sensitivities does not mean starting to turn this into a small ‘talk” tomorrow. (Thank you!)

Getting back to the GIVEs… here is one more powerful GIVE.  Last night, I participated with two of the donors I work with in an international video conference taking place between their project from Moscow (the Russian Federation one) and Florida (the US one).  While only five minutes into the live video conference, I found myself crying.  I could not avoid it.  The content was so touching and meaningful that it simply hit places deep – deep inside of me.  Some time later, I noticed that the voices of the donors were sounding as if they could hardly speak and were with tears in their eyes.  Sitting in Moscow and seeing the major donors I am working with in Florida, I saw the profound power of Emotional Response which philanthropy has, which I have witnessed numerous times firsthand.  This is not something which, as demonstrated in this example, works only on donors.  It works on us professionals as well.  Years ago, one of the donors I work with shared with me and openly explained  that I would be surprised to hear how rare it is for him to find this kind of emotional response in other aspects of work and in — however it matters – life in general.  I was surprised.  I thought he was sharing something very painful with me.  But the truth is he was simply sharing with me a very important insight about the essential value of philanthropy –value I was too “young” to comprehend then.

I am still surprised as I continue to discover the profound impact of the Emotional Response philanthropy has on donors.  I do not think that most of us realize that it is unique to our work in philanthropy, but it is, and therefore makes our work special.  But wait… this is if you aim and design the work you do to include these kinds of emotional responses.  Take the time to think about this remark, otherwise the door I just opened for you will lead you to little or no results.  Some of my best friends think that there is no need for this…they would argue that this is an indulge.  Good luck to them and you make your choice.

And again onward we go to the next GIVE, as there is so much more to cover.  As we move forward in life, we often tend to recognize those to whom we feel obligated.  This is the case of the next GIVE.   In Memoriam is about recognizing and honoring those we want to honor.  Having attended quite a few ceremonies in memoriam, they tend to have a special effect which really minimizes the role of those who are recognizing and maximizes the role of those who have passed.  And most often I am impressed by the genuine care to leave a legacy through a philanthropic deed by those who act.  How we approach people who are here, to think of making a difference by leaving a legacy in memoriam of those who died, is where we can be very creative.  Not everyone is thinking about their…   Read this and yes, ask yourself the question I hope you are thinking.

I am going to end this third installment (of four) about GIVEs with two GIVEs that are “siblings”. I am going to introduce them together, although I would like you to be able to see them as independent – which they truly are.

The first of the siblings is Vested Interest in an Organization.  This is when a donor has an earnest interest in an organization.  What kind of interest, you could ask.  Well… it could be that the organization is his or her Alma Mater and therefore the donor is interested in seeing the university continue developing and enriching the next generation of students.  The interest could be that the organization medically treated a family member of the donor and the donor wants to make a difference in the lives of other future patients, so that other lives are also saved.  The interest could be that the donor knows someone who works in the organization and trusts that person.  And so on and so on.  I could show you how the word INTEREST can change shape and form or how it can range from effects that you feel are all-good to sometimes saying oh-well, but all in all, keep in mind this is about a donor making a difference in an organization and they have all the reason to make their choice as they see fit.  The question that you should ask yourself is if your organization is included in the list above… (Get over it and just do something about this…)

The sibling of the previous GIVE is Identifying with the Cause.  This is a straightforward GIVE.  I don’t have to go far to explain this one.  Take the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.  Changing the world in such a significant way.  Do you know in what way?! In giving children immunization shots!  Or the Oprah Winfrey Philanthropy, which is about… a girl’s leadership academy in Africa.  These and so many others have a specific philanthropic cause.  They have developed something which is theirs.  I have had the privilege to work with a few donors who have made a journey like this.  Developing an idea of their own and taking a philanthropic journey which then turns into their cause. Some donors love going this way.  This is a hard and unique way to go, but recently more and more donors are going this way.  It is often called “venture philanthropy” and it often attracts the younger generation of donors, although in my experience I have had the opportunity in Pittsburgh to work with both generations and see how it can fit both.  I have also seen how this works amazingly for the newer generations of donors in Russia, and this becomes their new way into philanthropy – but this for another blog.

What is so interesting in this Identifying with the Cause approach to philanthropy, which drives the philanthropic passion of some donors and feeds into their giving, is that in return for this specific cause (for making a difference!) becomes part of the “skin” of the donors.  The cause becomes the donor!  Or in other words, not only that the name Bill Gates is synonymous with Microsoft, but because of the work of Melinda Gates (who leads the foundation), so does Bill Gates develop into one in the same with global childhood immunization.  Think about this.

Yours,

Michael Steiner

The GIVE (Part II)

Should we do some counting (or maybe accountability?!)?  No, No, I am not taking you to the next GIVE.  This is not about accountability – not at all, at least – not at this point. I just want to make sure you know that we have already covered GIVEs previously in Blog #8 and are about to approach the next round of reasons to WHY donors GIVE. Reading this, you may feel that some of these GIVEs may already be part of you now as the reasons you yourself GIVE, these (reasons) may have been part of you for some time or some may have just evolved within you.  Don’t be troubled by how I use the concept of GIVE.  As I wrote in my previous blog (that I hope you read), I am not trying to be literal when using the term GIVE… this is NOT about giving… this is about you getting used to a concept: “The GIVE”.

Before we move on to the next GIVE allow me to share with you another example as I typically do in many of these blogs.  One of the donors I have been closely working with is a very methodological business person, focused, detailed and a whole list of words could describe how closed and often isolated this individual is.  In my work with this donor in their philanthropy, something very unreal happens: again and again over years of work, whenever engaged with their philanthropy, this donor turns warm, open and engaging, and recipients of their philanthropy are literally warmed by their spirit and kind soul, as if something deep within comes into the daylight through their philanthropy.  I am not going to add to this point; I think I am providing enough guidance here to provoke thought.  Lastly, on this point, I have seen this in more than one donor in order to make the case that philanthropy makes people shine… (PS: that may include you too).

Our next and fourth GIVE is quite different from things we touched in previous GIVEs. And “touch” is a word I would like you to keep in mind as I move forward to describe the next GIVE so that you get the utmost from it and again not get steered in the wrong direction.

Personal or Family Connection to the organization or cause is our #4 of GIVEs.  You could be reading this and say “Wait, is this about giving because a family member works in this organization?”  This certainly is an option, one of million, but not the one I am referring to.  The more obvious one is that an organization or a cause has “touched”… made a difference in the life of you or of someone else you know and that causes the GIVE.  Another beautiful option is that you have a family member who comes home and cannot stop talking about an organization (as in my case) and through that family member you become more and more familiar, engaged and literally “fall in love” for that organization and cause.  Do you now see this fourth GIVE?!  I am sure you do… this GIVE is what works so unbelievably well for… did you jump and say it?  Yep… the universities.  Without going into analyzing their fundraising strategy… when they call us every year, their graduate, to make sure they have their records of us right, whom they know will often feel connected to their Alma Mater and will have that personal link that they would like to connect to since they made a difference in your life.  Then it’s time for us to use #4 and GIVE so that they can change the lives of more students like they did ours. 

Our next GIVE takes us from the practicality of family connection, and the word family makes me smile – you will see why in a sentence or two, as we make a 180⁰ turn.  The next GIVE, to my mind, is one of the most phenomenal of them all.  If it was up to me, I would dedicate the whole blog to this one GIVE!  That is to say that I have seen this GIVE unfold so many times, in so many different ways, shapes and choice of words in donors that I have realized how significant and beautiful this GIVE is.

Now, I am going to do something unusual, which I have not done in previous GIVEs… caution you on the title of this next GIVE. The title of this GIVE is an effort on my behalf to bring together many similar GIVEs.  I am NOT saying that they are all the same, but for the purpose of this blog I am combining them under one heavenly roof.  GIVE #5 is GOD.

I could have made it “softer” for you and called it religious affiliation (or “religion”) as I do in my donor development training, and it certainly has to do with a religious belief. This so vastly popular GIVE is used by so many of us when we feel that we have a “calling”, a “drive”, heavenly inspiration and many, many more such titles… something that commands us to do a good deed.  One of the most inspiring donors at The Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh said to me, when I asked her how she got involved in a project which is one of the most successful philanthropic projects I have ever seen, that her late father told her in her dreams how important it is for him that she continues his legacy. 

I am quite aware that some of my colleagues may argue with me that I should, even based on the example I just gave, consider calling this GIVE “inspiration” or use other “terms”, and I will answer.  I have worked with enough donors to be able to claim to have developed the intuition to identify what it is that they are saying.  And while I am not claiming that “suddenly” everyone is a believer, religious or holy, I certainly do recognize the powerfulness of GOD in us as it pertains to giving.  Believe as much as you can, but I know… I have seen people GIVE joyfully, looking around and gazing upward when talking to me about the calling that drove them to it – and I am happy to share it with you.  So many donors call it “Calling” and I am not going to try and “package” it in any other way just because it may not sound popular.  It is what it is!  GOD encourages people to GIVE – and this (to my mind) is fantastic.

Our next in this series of GIVE takes us back by way of the Enterprise – “Beam me up Scottie!”  Remember why I started writing this series of GIVE blogs?  Because so much is written on the ASK – and so little on why people give.  Number 6 of the GIVEs is Because we are Asked!  There are many ways to look at and understand this GIVE.  Here is one way to view our number 6.  People are busy, so much on their minds, their plate, Facebook, email etc.  We are in the era where we start talking about the “too much noise in our life and how to get some space” (sounds familiar…) Too much multitasking going on, too many gadgets… you get the point I am sure!  And so since this is the story of this era – where is the place and space for “good causes”? How can they get uncovered with all the noise around?  It really requires a very unusual person, a one-of-a-kind to pursue a cause, often without a prior connection to the “future” donor.  The more typical way this will unfold is for the organization representing the cause to initiate a communication between you and me; otherwise we have so many other things on our mind and so on.  Nothing to do with the good-soul or good intentions we each have, just to do with the fact that unlike the iPhone or iPad– we can not operate endless Apps all at the same time :-)) we get distracted, we forget, and we also promised someone to do something else.  Or in other words: come and ask me so that you help me – help me help you because I want to and I just never get to it.

Moving onward and upward again and yes again into the heavens (but no – not into the heavens we already have been at before.)  This time we are visiting a place which is interesting by itself… the incredible and amazing brain we have. I know, you are asking, now what does the brain have to do with the GIVE?!

Let me get you there, if I may… we LOVE opportunities.  Number 7 of the GIVEs is Tax Benefits and other breaks and opportunities.  This one is about the structure of how our tax system is put together, but more importantly, how it keeps changing.  Oops, this is something I don’t know if you thought about.  Tax benefits you know about and as such some around the world question this as a “legitimate” giving reason.  Or in other words (as I have been asked when traveling outside the US): Are you giving because you care or because of the tax benefit?  I am not going to go into this argument (nonsense!) as I have not even once met or worked with one single donor who did not care and gave only because of tax benefits.  What is important to understand here is the beauty of the profession and especially around the work done by and with foundations (and if you live in Pittsburgh check out the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh Foundation), because organizations that are foundations have opportunities such as tax benefits and tax breaks that we LOVE.    In other words… why spend more if you can spend less and at the same time you can make our world a better place.  And don’t we all like this concept… hence our smarts (brain!)

I am about to close this second in series of blogs about the GIVE, with a brief reminder. This is not about “them” (the donors).  It may sound at times as if it’s about them, but it is first and foremost about me and you, which leads me to the final note in this blog. Nothing here is meant for you to feel like it is “written in stone.”  Some of the 18 GIVEs (more to come in future blogs) will feel right, now; some may feel wrong, now.  Some you may now feel indifferent to and feelings towards these GIVEs may change as you move forward with your life and fundraising.

Think of giving (and asking) as pieces of a quilt.  Pieces which are each special and that throughout your lifetime you are connecting into something very, very special.  Think of that important quilt that you are creating and I would hope this blog encourages you to keep creating your own quilt and making it as beautiful as you are and as the causes you touch and that touch you.

Yours,

Michael Steiner

ujfddd@gmail.com

The GIVE (Part I)

The Giving Pledge, announced recently by some of the wealthiest families in America, where these individuals and families commit to giving the majority of their wealth to the philanthropic causes and charitable organizations of their choice, reminded me of a story I share in my Donor Development training session on “Why Do Major Donors Give”.

Some years ago when approaching a donor, I asked him to walk me through what he would want to see on the sign at the building he had funded for over 90% of its cost with a robust several million dollars of his own money.  He gave me (and I will never, ever forget) a stern look.  He turned red and his body language said everything but understanding.  He was annoyed, angry and I thought I was about to be kicked out of his office some 20 flights straight down!  Everything in my own body language (as in your reading eyes and forehead!) was saying: “What did I do wrong?”  The donor did not stay shy for too long and stepped in to explain.  Michael, he said… you don’t understand…I had a dream, and in the dream God told me to build this building for the community.  I am simply following what God told me to do in my dream.  I see no place, added the donor, for a sign with my name on the walls of this holy building!  This is the part where both your and my jaws fall to the floor!  I did not in my lifetime or years of work with donors, expect such a surprising answer.

Why am I telling you this introductory story in this first of several installments on The GIVE… trying to help us better understand why people give?  I am sharing this story because I wanted to surprise you – at least a bit.  I wanted to make the point that to my mind, there is always something surprising in the reasons why people give.  I have been working with donors for quite some time, you could say almost 20 years of give and take.  Most of it… with BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!  What makes this work especially beautiful are the reasons these individuals engage in philanthropy.  These reasons, or the GIVE as I call it, are as wild and as amazing as movies of Harrison Ford or James Cameron – or use your own example.  Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to give you more than handful or two of examples of these beautiful people and their reasons… the full-scale examples really belong to training sessions where we can talk in-depth about Giving.

Allow me to start in no particular order with the first of the GIVE:

We GIVE because there is a Giving Tradition.  This giving tradition is often related to our family.  Our parents gave, or as the first donor I met on the job as director of donor development for the Jewish Federation of Greater Pittsburgh said to me in August 1999: “My father used to give and I follow in his footsteps”.  She shared with me and with the then CEO/President of the Federation the riches in the footsteps she was following.  What was special in this meeting with this specific donor was to watch how enthralled she was when she spoke of the footsteps she said she “only” followed.  This tradition was indeed inspiring.  Many of us feel we have a giving tradition we follow and also try to pass on to our successors.  But the Giving Tradition as the “why” people give can also be the Giving Tradition at work.  Many companies in Pittsburgh have this “tradition” and I am sure this same tradition exists around the country.  The Giving Tradition has also become part of the culture of many of the leading companies around the world.  Not only that they contribute, but that they engage themselves in the giving in order to participate in making the world a better place.  The Giving Tradition is a contemporary idea as much as it is a part of something we follow from others of our own heritage.

Look at the Giving Tradition as a serious business, way beyond what most of us realize.  It starts with what we see and share at home but goes way beyond that.  For some of us it is a transitional phase where we still say “I do it because my ______ did it” but when that giving becomes so strongly embedded in us, then that ‘because’ may or may not continue to be strong in our reasoning and other rationales may come to shape and lead the way we articulate our GIVE.

It is time to move on… so onward the second in this list of why people give.  Number 2 in our list of GIVE, in short, is Pay Back or if you want… as in the original way I typically say it in my training: Repaying to the Community.  This is based on something which was said to me by yet another donor who is young and who explained to me in all seriousness that he feels and strongly believes that it is because of the community that his family was able to succeed.  He believes in it, and therefore – so do I!  He wants to make a difference in a way that feels like “paying back” and his way of paying back is charitable giving.  By the way, he also said that he believes that moneymaking as well as a charitable giving arm needs to be very similar to one and the other in almost every way.  A rather unique and phenomenally gifted donor I have had the pleasure of working with for over 5 years.  In fact – one of the most gifted I have worked with.  He shaped one of the most successful charitable international projects I have been involved with, which is presently operating, and yet he envisioned it within minutes, while it took us few years to put together.  This type of donor, many of us may or may not know, not only has the ability to sign checks – many of them, regardless of age and background, have a mind which I find often is the “other” explanation as to how these wealthy people made so much money.  Because they are brilliant, and that brilliancy can also do wonders in the arena of charitable giving, above and beyond the giving itself.

But, getting back to Pay Back (to the community), I have heard this expression many times, by young in soul and by young in age, by donors who shared with me the stories of how their parents were helped by others in Pittsburgh.  We make a mistake and judge the package by just the words “pay back”.  Major mistake!  Let’s go further and deeper into this one, so that I contribute something to your thinking process and not just provide you with “a GIVE list”.  The idea here is to enable an interaction between a feeling in oneself and “something”…  Let me help you a bit….

Think of any relationship you have been blessed with… family, at work, friendships… any.  A relationship where one day you develop a feeling and that strong feeling wakes you up and tells you: “Oh God, I have been so lucky – so blessed”, when that strong feeling in you is clearly identifiable in its direction, in other words….it is a person generating this feeling in you (versus just an emotion without a specific meaning… retailers are sometimes the other lucky person in this case!).  But when that strong feeling is more general where you just feel lucky and blessed, if it’s not so specific we often look around and say: “Thank You!” and we do something with this “Thank You!” so that it does not only stay within ourselves but becomes something tangible.  And although I simplified it, in a nutshell this is GIVE #2.  And if you are an organization (hint hint…) you want to be around when this feeling comes about in a major donor!  (Hint #2: read my Blog “To Be and How to Be – That is the Question” to be published in early 2011).

It’s time to move onward again… I find it hard to move on; I don’t know how you feel, but each of the GIVES feels so real that moving on feels so hard. One reason is that each of the GIVES is a real person… real donors, real people, like you, like me, real giving.  Number 3 used to be tough for me.  I first got acquainted with it (surprisingly?!) in Moscow, Russia in my office at the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee.  One of my coordinators of work with the local community came up with the idea in 1995 to put together a cultural club for Russian Jewish businessmen.  Have social lunches (there in Moscow in 1995!) and talk them into contributing to the local community.  The idea that local Russian businessmen who knew almost nothing about charity would contribute through Socializing sounded so strange to me, and to be honest I did not think it would work.  Credit goes to Lena who initiated this concept over 15 years ago – her idea still operates and is successful in Moscow and also is extremely successful all over the world.  Donors all over the world respond to socializing.  You can look at this GIVE rationale from various angles.  Here is something I would like to again contribute to your thinking. Think about teamwork.  Hmmm – we love doing things together – it does something to us.  We love being together and we love being with the people that we love being with.  The ego within us makes us do (among other things) some great deeds. The importance of socializing is not necessarily overstated, especially if it causes us to carry out some marvelous things as a result…

Donors I have met and worked with, and one specifically who I am still very fond of, a fascinating businessman with a banking empire both at his fingertips and in his brain (and who also knew by heart poems of great American, English, and Irish poets!) whose first sizable gift was $250,000 was due to his stated desire to be “part of a group”. 

Having the privilege to watch major donors closely has enabled me to understand the piece of the puzzle called Socializing as a GIVE.  I now understand that people who give because of this socializing seek a sense of belonging, of value, through the social element, which is something we all live and breathe day in and day out.  Think of Facebook and the role it plays in our life and you will understand socializing as a GIVE in a better way.  We all really want and need the socializing as part of “being”, even in philanthropy.

Lastly, which is where I am going to end this blog with 15 more GIVES to go (WOW!!!), I doubt if any of us give because of one GIVE only.  I think we have a Hungarian-Cube type of giving realization within us and we keep working with it as it evolves.  It is complex and can be displayed in many, many ways.  I do believe we keep picking up the GIVES all the time and that the factors change constantly.  We will talk about this in future blogs but meanwhile, think about the first 3 GIVES.  See how they feel for you and keep looking for the next round of GIVES in the next Donor Development Blog.

Yours,

Michael Steiner